(hears someone call my name) was that quiet enough to pretend i didnt hear them
Some lady next to me at the airport was crying hysterically, she got up, came back with McDonald’s and she stopped crying the second she started eating
grapes with seeds can go to hell
i hope the clothes in my closet are having fun hanging out together
MY MAD FAT DIARY: A Masterpost
Set in Stamford, Lincolnshire in 1996, My Mad Fat Diary follows the story of 16-year-old, 231 pound girl, Rae, who has just left a psychiatric hospital, where she has spent four months. She begins to reconnect with her best friend, Chloe, who is unaware of Rae’s mental health and body image problems, believing she was in France for the past four months. Rae attempts to keep this information from her while also trying to impress Chloe’s friends Izzy, Archie, Chop and Finn.
UPDATED: Now with working links and series 2!!!!
“new zealand accents and australian accents sound the same”
"At some point, you have to stop running and turn around and face whoever wants you dead.The hard thing is finding the courage to do it."
'You and me, we made a deal to try and save him. Remember?' Haymitch says. When I don't respond, he disconnects after a curt 'Try and remember.'
The sun doesnt give a shit about you the stars aren’t proud of you the plants arent happy you exist I’m so tired of this fucking website
people saying harmless things to cheer others up makes me SO MAD and theres NOTHING WORSE and THIS WEBSITE IS ABSOLUTE TRASH how can people do things that have NO EFFECT ON ME to try and spread positive vibes I AM A PISSBABY SUPREME
When I first read THG I had a problem with understanding Katniss’ actions in MJ too. Keep in mind I read MJ in a day (while going to work fulltime too), so it was a really fast read and it took me a while for everything to sink in. But I remember after reading the first time that I could understand everything, except Katniss’ anger towards hijacked Peeta. I understood that she couldn’t help him much, especially at the start, because he’d flip out if she was even mentioned. So. it’s not like she could go to him, just walk into the hospital and make him see that she’s not a mutt. I understood that she couldn’t get her hopes up, because if he never got better, she wouldn’t survive having her hope crushed yet again. But why the anger?
I understood that Katniss was angry at herself and Haymitch for not getting Peeta out of the arena. She took it out on Haymitch already in the hovercraft and she took it out on herself too. After seeing Peeta’s conversation with Delly, when he calls Katniss a mutt, Katniss requests to be sent to D2. That is to get away from the situation, but I think it’s also a self-destructive request- she’d be sent where it’s most dangerous right now. After that, she goes to the Capitol, right to the heart of fighting again. In between those 2 events, she trains like crazy:
"I throw myself into training with a vengeance. Eat, live, and breathe the workouts, drills, weapons practice, lectures on tactics."
Again, I think it’s not just because she wants to keep her mind off the situation, or because she wants to kill Snow and her rage is guiding her. I think it’s also a self-destructive behavior. But again, that doesn’t explain why she’s angry at Peeta and takes it out on him.
I think it’s because Katniss feels abandoned by him. Yes, it wasn’t like it was his choice, but sometimes all the rational thoughts you have are not strong enough to stop the anger that comes from past wounds.
Katniss felt abandoned a few times in her life already. First, when her father died. He also had no choice, but Katniss was an 11 year old who was suddenly in charge of her family. Underneath her sadness, in her subconscious there was probably a part of her that thought:”Why did you have to leave me now? Why did you abandon me?” And I think it’s normal. Anger at a loved one when they die is a common thing, especially if you’re a child. And let alone in a situation like Katniss’.
Then there’s Katniss’ mom who Katniss felt abandoned her after her father’s death. Her mom also didn’t have a choice, but Katniss didn’t understand that at the time and she says at the beginning of THG that she never really forgave her mother for that.
She also probably felt abandoned by the entire D12. None of them had much food to share with Katniss’ family or some other means of helping them. But neither did a 11 year old boy and yet he found a way.
So now you have that kid that was a symbol of hope for Katniss and who becomes really important to her.
"No one has held me like this in such a long time. Since my father died and I stopped trusting my mother, no one else’s arms have made me feel this safe."
She hasn’t felt that safe with anyone since her father’s death. She learned to trust him, to need him and he promised an always. And she believed it:
In the twilight of morphling, Peeta whispers the word and I go searching for him. It‘s a gauzy, violet-tinted world, with no hard edges, and many places to hide. I push through cloud banks, follow faint tracks, catch the scent of cinnamon, of dill. Once I feel his hand on my cheek and try to trap it, but it dissolves like mist through my fingers.
When I finally begin to surface into the sterile hospital room in 13, I remember. I was under the influence of sleep syrup. My heel had been injured after I‘d climbed out on a branch over the electric fence and dropped back into 12. Peeta had put me to bed and I had asked him to stay with me as I was drifting off. He had whispered something I couldn‘t quite catch. But some part of my brain had trapped his single word of reply and let it swim up through my dreams to taunt me now. “Always.”
"I cover my face with my arms because this isn‘t happening. It isn‘t possible. For someone to make Peeta forget he loves me… no one could do that."
She did take Peeta’s love for granted and she regrets that when he’s hijacked, but I think it’s not just that. Even if it wasn’t a completely conscious decision, she began needing him and she expected that always to be true for them. Now she feels taunted by that promise.
When he “forgets he loves her” and her old wounds reopen. The only person that gave her hope after her father’s death, the only one that made her feel safe after that and the only person she openly admits to needing in the whole trilogy, suddenly doesn’t love her anymore. Just like it was before, it’s not a conscious thing, but in her subconscious she’s again asking herself:”Why did you abandon me just like everyone else? I trusted you, I relied on you, you promised and you abandoned me!”
That realization was the last piece of puzzle in understanding Katniss’ behavior towards hijacked Peeta for me. So I hope that this post will help someone else understand it more too. And maybe stop blaming her and sympathize with her more.